Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
