When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
