where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
