Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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