Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize