What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
