She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
