Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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