Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
