You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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