So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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