Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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