Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
