can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
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