R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Acid is not a monday night drug
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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