yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
