Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Pants are for mortals
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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