everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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