I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
