this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
