hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
