Will you blow on my dice?
one two three fourrrrnication!
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
