I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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