I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
