i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
The cops high fived after they tackled you
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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