fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
