i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
