...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
