I seem to have left my pride at pride
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
