we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
