Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize