I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
