They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
