Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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