are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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