Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
