Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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