Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
