I smell stomach acid.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
