so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
