Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
