I think im going to throw up on grandma
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
