He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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