ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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