No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
where am i from again
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
