this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
