I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
