im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
