Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
