Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
