i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
