The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
