arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
