i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
the liver wants what the liver wants
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
