No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize