This dress was meant to end up on your floor
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
