That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
