so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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