i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
